After marrying James, we called Las Vegas home and traveled the states for work. Marriage is interesting. My view on marriage is totally different now than it was then. Boy was I in for one heck of a ride. The only man I’d ever lived with was my brother, Daniel, and he’s a saint.
I’m pretty sure I wanted to leave every month for the first couple years. Now, that being said, I have also fallen more in love with him everyday that has gone by. So yeah, figure that one out.
We have had our moments that have made us question, if we were going to make it. I’m happy to say it’s been years, but we’ve been there. We selflessly gave ourselves to the marriage. Throughout our struggles and ugliest moments, we managed to put ourselves aside and figured out what was best for us. We learned that there was nothing that was going to break us. There was nothing that either of us could do, to make either one of us leave. I can not tell you the peace that brings. To know that no matter what happens, you have someone unconditionally loving you by your side. It’s everything. We have this love that is so much greater than ourselves.
I never wanted children. I never had dreams about being a mom. I didn’t even want to babysit anyone’s kid, if I’m being honest. I didn’t understand them and I most definitely did not understand why someone would want a kid. However, James was the end of life as I knew it. I remember being so overwhelmed with this great love. I realize it sounds cliche and dumb, but I had this deep love for this man that created a longing for something more with him. Our love. There was nothing, but our love behind her. Well and some prayer, science, and a lot of money.
On February 26,2014, it was the end of life as we knew it. After losses, tears, hard work, prayers, procedures, medicines, bed rest, etc., we had ourselves a beautiful baby girl. Our fighter. Our miracle. She is bigger than we will ever be. I see her and I see James. I see a love that is so grand, I don’t believe anything in this world can top it. She is the perfect combination of us. The first words that nurses and drs said about her were, “wow she is something else!” I have continued to say that daily. She is special. She is one of a kind. She is ours. I love her so much I could eat her face!!!